The time is January 16, 2021 at 6:20p.m. Listening to SiriusXM, channel discovery a private channel. Also I am on Google Duo with my friend Daniel Mitchell. I woke today with an inspiration to write and actually I've been getting my words out on Facebook post. It seems to get the job done but I find it serves no justice nor does it feel good to have these post echo through out my head. It has been a very long time since I posted onto this google blogger site. I put a lot of stuff onto some other blog a while back I haven't seen it for while. Any ways, here I am updating my blog and just trying to get some new things on this site. Its weird having to use html coding I haven't use html coding since like 20 years ago. How time flies such a shame this will never happen again in my existence. A lot has changed some for the better some for the worse but lately I've been coasting to my destination on fumes.
I got a new male cat his name is Jasper, had him since he was 7 weeks old. Safely to say he is a tamed kitten. All grown up. boy did he grow up fast. everything is all butter right now! I'll explain later about that statement. Covid19 has hit America and my current living state. The picture is of me wearing a mask cause its the new norm now... and we all are moving forward with this new norm. I feel like food industry will always now have to wear a face mask even after the infection is over with. not sure when my vaccine will be available I'll have to wait.
I am fearing death more and more each day. I sleep in a state of a; comatose void of Darkness. Its not pleasant at all. Death is all I think about now is this my norm? ya probably! its a state of mind I guess. Feeling lately like a cow that has be milked each day by the internet and or electronics. Its matter of perspective I guess... that was the name of my last blog on here … some of the things that came through me that I typed out are actually out of this world. Keeping my mouth or this case my fingers shut up is a difficult thing.
Smoking a lot of cigarettes' lately I find myself struggling to find money to afford them. its my addiction. speaking of addictions my drug usage is as follows. I take my pills that the doctor prescribes for me in which the state pays for all of the fees. 6 mg of melatonin at bed/ 4 mg of risperidone for one day/ 300mg of Wellbutrin a day/ a lot of allergies medications and antihistamines/ two .01 mg of clonidine at bed/ maybe some more not sure. I have been doing methadone twice a week to help with pain management. but that is on my own terms . no doctor prescribes them for me .. which to say the least is a bad habit but I only picked up this habit when covid hit. not sure if I can walk away from this habit or not. I haven't tried. I'll cross that bridge when I have to. some times bridges aren't always enjoyable they can take you to good of bad places it depends whats at the end of the road. I haven't been drinking liquor as much as I use to. maybe 2 to 4 beers or glasses of wine around bed time I just find with my meds liquor makes me hungry after I am done drinking. not to mention my coffee addictions too! if i ever have to be hospitalized it wont' be a pretty sight going through all these withdrawals. but for now I am sailing away... meaning my body is still alive! should it not be?
I am currently living in an apartment on a bus route in Agawam Mass. 2016 I moved in. 2019 I got accepted to section 8 program and then covid hit and now i am here just hoping i don't get kicked out on the street cause its a dangerous time to be out on the streets not to mention we aint in no tropical climate ! its cold as shit here I shouldn't complain we haven't been getting much snow at all these past few years. well i hope it all works out for me i guess ... the struggle is real ! never have i ever second guessed that statement.
there is so much more to say.. but for now i am ready to publish it! until next time!
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