Tuesday, April 13, 2021

ball and Chain... the hard time

 Today is Tuesday April 13, 2021 at 4:35am


I can't help but feel like everyone just wants to defy gravity and those that defy it think they are so special. ya I am bound to this planet by science. I mean who is isn't. I turn the television on and think to myself what a load of shit... all this commotion over the fact someone can't act right. or a better way to say it: acting is lying 🤥 … lying is an art form it takes a lifetime of working behind the curtain to even begin to even learn to act. ya ya ya… the television is our only means of communication which i find to be a load of shit. I have no mirror reflecting me I have no body guard nor do I have any means to act or lie in a state of fakeness and despair. I am sorry but I am not going to take orders from someone who i can't see or even know what they look like . if they can't look me in the eyes and talk to me I for sure as hell aint taking any orders from them . if you have a problem with me don't hide behind your television and try to scare me ... come up to my face and approach my identity and then tell me your problem about me. the commercials are saturated to the point of mind over matter techniques that only super powerful people who have a strong mind can even begin to understand or even control. I feel bad for the humans, I feel bad for the weak minded person who is just trying to live a life of normalcy .I feel bad for the retard that is always on the side lines and can't do anything about it but just sit there and be retarded or disabled. I am not trying to make anyone weaker but the game of life is for EVERYONE not just the actors or in other words, the liars lying 🤥 

Tuesday, April 6, 2021

The awake and my After Thoughts

The time is 7:20 pm April 6 2021


Just got back from the awake from my aunt. its sad my heart is broken knowing my cousin has lost a mother today. His mother was his right hand women that he went to. She did not look good in death state. I felt like that wasn't even her body  . nevertheless I payed my respects but no tear came to me. it could be the antidepressants I am on or what ever.. all I could feel was my heart break knowing that her family and her son have to depart from her... so sad...  I just hope she is ok in her after-life ! many prayers for her and her afterlife.  well just having a glass of wine and now I am just listening to some music. I don't think I have it in me to go to the church services maybe I should ! my mother said I can't go cause of my nurse! but we'll see what the morning brings.? this process is so strung out ! well many prayers for her may she have a good afterlife. all i can is hope there is an afterlife. 

genetic lottery my ass!

  it's a big world out there.. to isolate someone and tell them they can't have equal or some of their rights because they have some...