The time is: February 9, 2021 at 4:20pm.
My sleeping pattern was so eradicated the point where I find myself falling asleep every 3 hours and waking and making coffee or tea every time. I believe this is the 5 time today i made coffee i changed things up and brewed some black tea instead this time around. This past week we have been getting a snow forecast almost every day. My mental stability is dwindling on hope and luck at this point.
My cat Jasper doesn't seem to mind one bit only because he is a domesticated feline. This lifestyle of being in pajamas all day is driving me mad! I guess i just prey someone comes to my rescue and takes me far away from this place and makes everyday a beautiful one. No need really to shovel out only because i rent and it's the landlord responsibility. Nothing to fucking to do. I sat here made some tea cleaned up the apartment a little and then i decided i had to keep myself in motion ... I NEED MOTIVATION SO BAD! right now! something to churn my butter so to speak. but nothing nothing but a stale plate of crackers sit in front of me collecting dust. I am screaming so deep inside of myself right now! screaming for resolution. enough i am saying to myself right now stop this pity party that seems only to collect the birds outside to judge you from another mistake. My cat jasper is doing well he is so spoiled i feed him twice a day once at 6 am and once at 6pm and then he has available dry food at all times. My apartment is pretty set up in respects to the fact that i have the newest Alexa , a Computer that i seem to spend most of my time on. I decorated nicely too i don't live in a complete shit box. nevertheless i seem to have the winter blues boiling through my veins . I noticed i have been smoking a lot of marlboro cigarettes when i don't even need them that much. boy are they expensive way too expensive for my taste. going for 11.50$ a pack is almost a leg and an arm and in this case a lung too. I have a pet beta fish who seems to be doing well in his tank. i do usually water changes which help balance our the ph levels and what not . but fish are so boring .. i need a dog so i can take it for a walk every 3 hours.
complete bonquers about the covid joke that happened with donald trump in office then as soon as he left we seem to be awakening again as a community now that biden is in office this time around. not sure if if it was real or not but at this point it made and makes no sense at all. covid my ass.. what a joke.
now it's onto the real factor of this equation what am i doing here and how did i get here! how i managed to avoid coivd-19 is beyond me at this point. There are a few video games i can play or have been playing but that too is getting really boring in itself too. why o why do i sit here pondering this ugly ugly thing called life that was given to me! Library are closed to due to covid as well.. they just started to open up again. i guess i could take walks to participate in the community advents.
Listening to some music in the background right now i can't make up my mind what music i like. i seemed to fall between pop rock 2k if not earlier in time .
any ways i am going to try to keep busy and not let my mind turn to paste so soon right now!!!
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