The Spring Egg!

        The time is 5:45am March28, 2021 . 

Spring has arrived at our door steps and now I am feeling a sigh of relief for having to be able to use the "outside" as my escape again.  I truly do need some kind of day off or 3 days . Just to get away and realize how good I have it where I am now... its hard sometimes to see what you got unless you are looking in from the outside! The Mechanic who fixes my scooter came by and picked up the scooter and brought it back with him to get fixed. To even think I might endure the freedom of the road again is also a sigh of relief. Also it seems "to good" to be true almost a trap it seems. I guess that is my paranoia speaking again. I would have to say I am growing mentally and coming to terms with my lifestyle and choices that I have made throughout my life. I've been on Facebook during my down time and I find myself trying real hard to understand and interpret the acceptance of what is on my plate that it may be bad or good. Almost finding myself trying way too hard at times... do I try to hard? I ask? that is something I am going to have to work out throughout my time here on earth or what ever godforsaken planet or universe I am on or in. 

    Physically I am going through some kind of constipation or crones disease that is effecting my gut or my large and or small intestines . maybe I am exaggerating the situation but I am putting more food in my mouth and less is coming out of the other end . That seems to bother me much. That the same amount of matter should be coming out of my other end but its not. I am eating and I am morbidly obese so I consume a lot of food and yet I am hardly shitting that same matter out of my ass. I ask? where the fuck is all that matter going? 

    All my Social security rat friends are all talking about the government stimulus check coming in. I am truly not going to put all my eggs in one basket if you know what I mean. I don't want to built myself up for a 1400 dollar check coming in and then something goes wrong and I end up never getting it.. I truly hope I do get it, but its in someone else's hands at this point in the game. Its weird how the authority always seems to find ways to control its sheep. the things I had to go through to allow even a simple action to be acceptable by the higher ups. its quite difficult to explain in an English language so it seems. even though I only know one language I find it even hard to describe what I am feeling with the only one language I am allowed or capable of using.  pish posh  :p 

    Any ways spring is hear and the trees and birds are all coming back to life on the outside of these walls I sleep and live in. Hopefully good things happen and April is right around the corner as well. I hope to grow and learn and be able to live a life of minimal substance. 

but where the fuck is the matter going ? shit that is really annoying the shit out of me! ;) a story of constipation ! 

today is Palm Sunday for Christianity and day one of Passover … a holy week indeed ! and ends next Monday ! just time slipping through my fingers and there is nothing I can do about it!  enjoy the ride self ! I am all buckled up and ready for the ride to start! for it is the beginning of the end !

-kyle